At mount Sinai, the Lord gave various commandments to Moses in order to establish with His chosen people what He considered evil or good, for before that time the ancient peoples of the world obviously often still perpetrated evil (hence the great flood), but they hadn’t any kind of law to measure their deeds against and therefore find themselves in wanting before the eyes of the Creator. The laws God revealed to Moses at Sinai were not so much just a ‘schoolmaster’ in order to keep the people rigidly ‘in line’, but rather they were mainly given in order to show us all just how sinful we really are, actually intending for us to then see our desperate need for redemption and humble us toward genuine repentance and seeking out God’s favour with our obedience to His commands; not to earn salvation, but as a humble response to His incredible grace on us all.

For the Jews in the times of Jesus Christ and beforehand (back to the time of the first temple), sin was initially ‘atoned for’ through designated ‘clean’ animals like lambs or bulls, their innocent blood being spilled in a ritualistic way symbolically in the place of the guilty human party, for innocent blood has a mystical power to it that can propitiate in this way. This gory practice culminated and was fulfilled when the ultimate sacrifice of the Lamb of God was enacted on the cross, for the pricelessness of the blood of the ‘visible image of the invisible God’ was enough to cover ALL sin, once for all time, and had the power to restore any sinner back into a blameless relationship with the heavenly Father; the blood of animals were always an imperfect picture of this, because they had to be continually offered in order to appease His righteous wrath over continual sins, whereas Jesus’s blood was a one off offering that went both backwards and forwards throughout time with its atoning power; one must simply submit to His authority and be repentantly obedient to Him in order to receive His redemption through the blood.

Personally, I have never found the same sex sexually attractive, but in the days before I knew Christ, I cared not for the sexual sins of others, and would often frequent gay clubs or bars with my friends, thinking nothing of it at the time. To be honest, I hadn’t really thought at that time about the actual physical actions of homosexuals with each other and what it really entailed; it simply didn’t interest me, and I even felt it was none of my business. I had the satanic ‘do what thou wilt’ mentality, where if people weren’t hurting anyone and they enjoyed each other in that particular way, then I would simply turn a blind eye to it (even if I thought even then that it was kind of gross). My mother had installed into me from a young age that it was disgusting, even wicked, yet as a natural rebel in my late teens, I tried (and succeeded) to now be open minded about the whole thing. As a promiscuous man from 19 onward until 26, I had already shaken off any guilt I felt about masturbating or sleeping around with many girls years before I ever encountered any real gay man or woman in my life, and so it seemed a natural progression, even an evolution, to now wink at something I felt I had once been conditioned to loathe, thinking I had been somehow ‘oppressed’ by my upbringing to think like this. After all, I was then a drug taking, smoking, drinking reveller, and even though it never even occurred to me to involve myself sexually with another man, I didn’t want to get in the way of anyone else’s ‘high’, or stunt the process of ‘love’ in anyone else’s life by placing any disapproving limitations on them.

That was until I started seeing my last girlfriend, when I was around 25 years old. She had a HUGE sex drive, and it was every ounce of my energy to try to keep up with her needs. Her best friend was a gay man, but I had my suspicions after a while that they ‘played around’ with each other too. She was also playing around with witchcraft, like I was, which was probably part of the sexual attraction between us. Nevertheless, after seeing her for a little while, it wasn’t long before I started to have some very weird dreams about the same sex, fairly often and all of a sudden, which had never happened to me before. I tried to shrug it off, but to be honest I started to be tormented by it. It came to a head for me when we were once having sex, and I had a sudden image in my mind of her looking like a man whilst she was looking at me in the gloom of the darkened room (even though she was a pretty girl), which caused me to instantly ‘lose interest’ and feel very shaken. Something very strange was happening to me, and I didn’t know how to handle it. It wasn’t long until we split up after that, but the dreams and the torment stayed with me for a long time after.

After about 3 years of trying to be a Christian, I was still a very tormented soul in this way, as well as in other ways too. Even though I was completely bound spiritually, I knew nothing of demons at that time, and had only just started to look into the subject. I didn’t have the internet in those days really, and had to work things out by myself. I had no other Christian friends around me who knew of the demonic to help me, so I turned to reading a variety of books on the subject in the solitude I had found since all my old friends had dumped me because I followed Jesus. I had been completely celibate for a couple of years at this point, yet even then I could hardly look at any creature (human or otherwise) without some sexual image coming into my head about them, and I greatly feared I was going insane with the torment it gave me; I had to shut myself away with a bible to try to find peace over it. Then it was all there in some Derek Prince book I had begun to read with great interest, all about evil spirits of lust causing the kind of torment like I had, and in another Rebecca Brown book, there were special prayers I could pray to ask the Lord to deliver me from such spirits, and others. I earnestly prayed those set prayers that evening, and at about 4am I woke up to an enormous noise coming out of my open mouth like a rushing wind, and I was completely delivered from that time onward! It was shortly after that that I realised that I must’ve ‘taken on’ a spirit of perversion, perhaps even one specifically of homosexuality, through my sexual contact with this girl. I learned that evil spirits can be sexually transmitted, and it definitely seemed more than a coincidence that all of a sudden, I was having such images in my head through night dreams and day visions, which only grew in their intensity and vulgarity. I also wondered to myself whether my exploration into ‘tantric’ sex magic years before also had something to do with it. In my previous desire to become a highly sexual enlightened being, I can testify that I only found demonic torment through those exploits, for before that deliverance experience I found that virtually anything or anyone became a source of sexual mental foreplay in my mind’s eye, and that I couldn’t control it at all (I didn’t know the power in the name of Jesus at that point). It was so seriously horrific, and I’m ever so grateful to the Lord for delivering me from such self inflicted torment.

Don’t get me wrong: evil spirits still try to plague me with sexual dreams even today, but they are never homosexual anymore and they are generally fairly easy to overcome; I have the upper hand most of the time even with the strongly heterosexual images they play out in my night dreams, and wonderfully the strength I have in Christ (most of the time) helps me conquer them. I can talk candidly like this, because I know everyone has such dreams! That is one reason why I want to discuss it, unabashed. We have to realise that at any given moment, we are not fighting against flesh and blood, for there are both succubus and incubuses, as well as MANY other types of spirits, that all people must contend with. Perhaps the difference between me and you though could be that I know any type of lustful dreams or day visions are always demonically inspired, whereas most other people (especially if they are non-believers) allow them to play out and get their ‘satisfaction’ from them; I always actively fight them now, and if I ever lose, it is a failure for me.

Going back to what I was saying at the start of this blog, about the law; God has given us certain guidelines for us to know what is evil. There are ceremonial laws about ritualistic purity that no longer apply to anyone since the cross, that is true; but there are also moral laws that are eternal, that remain forever. I have now personally learned that every inspired sexual desire that is not based solely within a relationship of HOLY matrimony is always of the evil one, and that any type of oral or anal sexuality is in fact ‘sodomy’ (to use an archaic term); debauchery, even. That also includes any type of masturbation too, on oneself or on others. Even though in this day and age it sounds extreme, you should know that what the world considers allowable, even desirable, is simply not for the children of God, who SHOULD be striving for complete purity. Thankfully the Lord has completely cleaned up my own act, yet I had to go into the depths of depravity in order to discover that all those modest and strict ‘puritan’ type of Christians of the old school were in fact RIGHT, in many ways, but especially over the issue of sexuality. Holiness requires purity from us, yet until one realises they are defiled and corrupted, they cannot rightly measure themselves against the law, which is designed to show us we are sinners that need redemption. Morality remains relative without the law of God, rather than being objective truth that highlight God’s standard of perfection.

I’ve heard it argued that homosexuality is simply of the Old Testament code of morality, which no longer applies to us in our day and age because of the cross(!) , and that if we are to be ‘progressive’ then we must be inclusive and down with all forms of sexuality, approving of and tolerant of the Kama Sutra and other worldly viewpoints on the subject. My own experience is that having had my fill of sex in many of its forms, that there really are special evil spirits that thrive on the innately human desire for sexual contact, twisting and perverting God’s sacred design for procreation by causing us to ‘burn’ for another being, even for ourselves, and that unless one discovers the wickedness thereof and repents of it, that those same spirits will remain one’s slave masters for all eternity. Remember, the sinful nature (the flesh) is always hostile to God and His ways, and nowhere is this highlighted more crassly than in the arena of sexuality.

We must ask ourselves whether we long for HIS kingdom to come, or for our own kingdom… and the way we view sexual purity is the true litmus test for such a question.