Roughly this time last year, I had just come back from a funeral of an old (literally!) friend, who died at the ripe age of 94. During life, he was what most would consider ‘just a normal man’, in many ways; dressing in a manner befitting of an honourable British gent; hard working in a respectable job until retirement, enjoying dance halls with his wife (they met at one) in his spare time (until his body gave out); green fingered, and handy around the house (until ladders became a hazard to use).

But, there was also something very different about him from most people. He KNEW. He also knew that I knew, which was very pleasant for both of us. It often inspired me to see that twinkle in his eye as he commonly jibed me in a mischievously humorous manner, pulling my leg over something or other. I could just tell that spiritual light flooded his body, for it overflowed from his eyes in obvious abundant joy. Anyone who knew him would agree with me.

One of the people reminiscing about his life during that funeral service had touched beautifully on the actual way he died. Her words stuck with me as the highlight of the afternoon, and will probably stick with me for the rest of my life.

His wife had relayed to her at their house group a few days before the funeral that as she watched him ‘go’, his jaw dropped and his face relaxed in a deathly manner, but moments later he closed up his jaw again, regaining a little strength, and looked distantly somewhere ceiling bound into the beyond, in an utter amazement and joyous awe, completely oblivious to earth… then he died, with that unspeakable joy still written all over his features. Personally, due to my own experience of the Lord’s presence and of the time I have heard heaven for myself with my own ears, I’m very aware of what happened to him. It has to be said that it was already a very happy funeral (as far they usually go), but as soon as I heard that wonderful anecdote, I was entirely rest assured and at complete ease, with a massively silly grin on my face, and was greatly cheered by it! I spent the rest of the service wondering what on earth (or maybe, what in heaven…) Alex was experiencing right now, as my own tummy grumbled and I got restless for sitting a little too long. Whatever it was, I knew it was much better than normal earthly existence, and I couldn’t help but feel very glad (and a little jealous) that this wonderful man was now in bliss forever and ever, never to know pain or sorrow again. Praise the Lord!

I think back to how different another funeral I attended was, a few years previously. The girl had committed suicide right at the end of that winter in her mid 20’s, after a bout of severe depression. She and her sister had grown up with my own younger sisters, but as life circumstances changed and people grew apart, she fell off my radar for years. That was, until a week before her death. Her parents had asked me (I had been working for them) whether I might take her to the gospel choir meeting I had spoken to them of at the local parish church, to ‘get her out of the house’, and to perhaps meet other positive people whilst doing something fun. I obliged of course, and picked her up to go. She was pretty quiet that night, and seemed to be ‘blue’, but nothing seemed too out of the ordinary on the surface. To be quite honest, I thought little of it, she hid it so well. I think she endured the meeting politely, but said on the way home that it wasn’t really her thing. We didn’t really get to talk too much, but it was a pleasant enough evening, for me at least. She left thanking me for taking her and talking perhaps of meeting up again.

A week later, to my abject horror, she had hung herself.

The funeral was very solemn, and there were many tears. People from all over had come for it, such was her impact on people throughout her life; and as a testimony to that, I had to stand outside the church with about 50 other people in the cold early spring sun under a large gazebo, with a PA speaker informing us of what was going on inside, as there simply was just no more room within. The church holds a maximum capacity of about 3-400 people, at a guess. Tremendous pain was upon the features of most of those who knew her, not least her own family who had found her hanging there in the garage. I remember being overcome with questions as we silently watched her coffin be buried, and had a profound sense of the closeness of death and the weight of grief as the shovel-fulls beat upon the lid, covering the pretty bunches of early daffodils, gradually getting more muffled.

She had come to the point where she had wanted to die, and followed through with it on her own terms. But, my question is was she really ready for it? I look at the stark contrast of the demeanour of both her and my (physically) old friend. To my mind, she clearly did not know Christ, for if she really had, killing herself would have been farthest from her mind. I can testify to the fact that once you know Him personally, His Spirit living in you gives you all sorts of missions to do, and an uncountable amount of reasons to live for. I can relate to her, for I used to be plagued with that same spirit of suicide before truly knowing Him, and there were a couple of times where I confess that it very nearly had me, such was my anger, hate and depression at that time (a bad mix). But now, I assure you that I have no such thoughts… ever. They honestly couldn’t be further from my mind. And that is purely because I now know of the same joy that Alex knew of during his life, in spite of the worldly suffering we all go through and with the coming to terms of this impending doom to the cold, solitary grave, that we also all must face one day (perhaps soon… we just never know…).

Alex had been very influential spiritually with the infectious joy he had in his life, but especially so in the last few months, as the doctor marvelled at his attitude in the face of death and his bravery with the pain he was going through, as his body started to ‘shut down’. His whole death process had been a remarkable testimony to all those that were a part of it, whether they were medical professionals or family members. From some of the testimonies I heard from people at the funeral, even many in the local church he attended had also been greatly encouraged and inspired by the way he went head first into his end with gusto and radiant joy, not missing a beat for humour and concern for others during it.

Yes, he had lived a long life, and it has to be said that it was not without its hardships; he had been there on D-day+2 until the remainder of the war (say no more). Yet, he had something else that evades most other people; an inner strength that was not his own, that was obvious even to the unbelievers who knew him. If only my poor young friend could have known it too. I wish it so! She might have thought she was ready to die, but I know for sure that she wasn’t. Only those who know the peace that Alex bore witness to are ready, for they wait expectantly for something far greater than the supposed oblivion release from earthly existence. For those in the know, earthly life becomes a fascinatingly joyous ‘waiting room’ experience that must be endured, before the visiting to the ‘dentist’ for a root canal to get the rotten tooth out (so to speak). But after that, for those who know and love Christ, it’s simply the everlasting peace and joy from the Source of all things, never to suffer again.

I genuinely hope you are someone who also knows of what I speak of, for if you don’t, I know one thing about you; for all of the stuff you have, people you know and work in your life, your life is totally empty. Sounds harsh? It’s true, and if you are honest with yourself, you know it. It is empty because it’s only HIS presence that brings fullness. Without it, you can only know of things that have a short term satisfaction, things that scratch an itch for a few moments. Things that create a lust for the addiction to it’s short term pleasure and satisfaction. These things give the illusion of readiness, when actually it’s procrastination, perhaps to one’s eternal regret.
But, those who are ready know that those things (whatever they may be) can never satiate the longings of the soul. We instead wait in great expectation, for we have the deposit of eternal life in our hearts and look forward in unearthly joy (like Alex) to unmerited reward, all because of what Jesus has done for humanity (bless His holy name forever!).

Forget religion, churches, rituals… this origin-of-life, eternal, heavenly presence of the Lord is the real deal. Without it, you honestly have nothing, and you are simply not ready, even if you call yourself a believer.

And ye shall seek Me, and find Me, when ye shall search for Me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)

Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)