I have always been a sensitive soul, and not just in the positive sense.

I have always naturally tended to take things very personally, perhaps due to my old negative habits of paranoia and self absorption, even being hurt by a laugh that sounds out of place, or by a word that could be misconstrued with a double meaning. Even though my usually bottled silence about a situation (one that is contrary to the way I would want things to be) gives an impression that I’m either hard or apathetic to it, I can assure you all that I dwell on such events very deeply within my psyche for days afterwards, chewing it over again and again, looking at it from every angle, sometimes to the point where it affects me so much that I have sometimes later on down the line burst out in reactive emotion, out of the seeming blue without any prior warning. It can even be when everyone else has kind of forgotten about what happened, making it even more awkward when I finally let my emotions sweep me over and I release them, as the over inflated balloon of resentment bursts from my taking offence to whatever happened.

I’ve noticed that situations always tend to negatively escalate quickly whenever I or other people take offence and react, because instead of proceeding in calmness, with a measured maturity that leads to a slowness to anger, it actually feels good for us to ‘vent’ and ‘feed’ that spirit of unrest and conflict; so we tend to do it willingly, regardless of the ugly effect we all know it has. Taking offence is perhaps a very understandable reaction to some types of behaviour, for some people have such little regard for others that the natural response of the victim is to fight back with even harsher words or actions, and the result of it is all sorts of trouble and chaos, as heckles are raised and the flesh is given freedom to bite back.

As I get older, and hopefully wiser, I’ve discovered that my initial natural feeling and reaction to something that happens against my will is not often the right one (if ever). Trust me, I’ve had to learn and re-learn this lesson many times, but this is where I’m at at the moment; I’ve have now discovered a genuine peace amidst the attack, both interior and exterior, that I have never known before. I can liken it to being caught in the eye of a storm; for all around my being, I can sense the invisible spiritual forces pushing me to attack an offending person back with a caustic tongue, just as I used to. Yet due to revelation and leading from the Holy Spirit over the years that I’ve had faith, I can now recognise this negative reaction quickly, and purposely now hold my tongue against what I sometimes would prefer to instinctively do. All I can really say about this newfound ability is that there’s huge social benefit from controlling oneself in this way, so please allow me to discuss with you further how I’ve personally progressed so far, as I’ve continued to incorporate the practice of ‘unlearning offence’ into my life.

I have to admit (as a passionate person who often did this) that it’s very easy to fall into the trap of allowing your emotions to dictate the way you respond to something. There have been many tempting times, especially recently, where the peaceful way I have reacted to any given unwanted scenario has dictated (for the better) the following events afterwards. Now, as a true seeker and an active proponent to the ways of peace, I forcefully battle with my initial instinct to take offence and retaliate, and instead respond to the circumstances slowly, analytically and methodically, allowing myself to take on board what’s actually happened and then deal with it in a way befitting of a true disciple of Christ. As you may already know, that means reacting in a way that comes totally unnaturally to a normal human being, who usually wants to counter with a seemingly righteous indignation for being wronged. It goes back to the ‘love thy neighbour as you love thyself’ ethos, by doing unto others what you would have them do to you. Someone who sows peace and wisdom, reaps it, for the age old axiom of ‘reaping what you sow’ is as true now as it’s ever been. I still have yet to see someone who is getting emotionally reactive and ‘screechy’ ever actually solve the issue with such behaviour. At least, it has never worked in my own life, nor in the lives of anyone else I know of. From experience, I can testify that the cool, calm approach works so much better for actual positive results; maybe you can relate.

There are TV programs all over the world (but especially in the UK) that I believe are completely destructive to the fabric of society, due to them literally teaching people how to behave badly by following their flesh, and showing them how to perfect their response to others in offence. They are called ‘dramas’ for a good reason; whilst for some people it makes interesting watching, the same people do not seem to understand that they are literally being programmed to respond to similar situations portrayed by the drama in a similar way, which is perhaps why so many people who watch that type of program have so much actual drama within their own real lives. They submit to the script’s teaching as willing disciples in the name of entertainment, and therefore then reap the fruit of their laborious study of this staged, so-called ‘anthropology’ by acting out in their own lives exactly what they have been shown on the screen. So much strife and aggression in the western world is due to this vicious circle of staged hatred, that TV shows nefariously continuously pump out to the ignorant general populous for the sake of views, and the audience laps it up because the ‘moral’ default of humanity clearly witnesses that people naturally love to take offence to even the smallest things (for some, even giving them a funny look is enough to set them off and attack), and therefore people get a thrill from passively observing such conduct on the screen, which the large headcount of people watching these shows would testify to.

However much (for the sake of my point) I don’t want it to be true, however, there are just some times in life when it is totally righteous to take complete offence, and ‘make a scene’. I think of Jesus in the temple, when He saw the crooked money-changers and other people capitalising on sin by selling animals for sacrifice, and was then overcome by such sweeping emotive and passionate zeal that He started to throw them all out with a whip in His hand, stating that they had turned ‘His Father’s house’ (which was clearly held by Jesus and the Jews generally to be the most sacred building on earth, for metres away was the Holy of Holies, where the literal manifest spiritual presence of God rested on earth at that time) into a ‘den of thieves’. Jesus took great offence at these people, who were not only cheapening the seriousness of sin (and therefore mocking God) by making merchandise of it and getting fat from the proceeds, but for doing it all right in the face of the Creator, within the very building that was meant to be set aside solely for worship and devotion to Him.

I have discovered that there are a few (and they are very few) times in my own life, when I have felt completely vindicated to allow myself as a believer to react in a similar severe offence as Jesus did that day, for by it people realise that they have committed a very serious crime against me (or against God, for I take offence on His behalf sometimes), and can therefore realise their own mistakes and sincerely apologise for their evil against me, hopefully meaning that they learn from it for the future, and even perhaps be able to teach others the same when they themselves are later afflicted by similar behaviour. If the offence is ministered to the perpetrator in a calm, collected way, I’ve discovered that it can produce really positive results. If the anger is channelled in the right way, it can lead to someone’s genuine repentance towards you, rather than continual cyclical retaliation of offence (ie. heated arguments that go nowhere). If the primary purpose for the taking of offence is out of a genuine concern for the other, sourced from a place of genuine love for them, then the way one delivers the message of their offence is not in fact offensive to the other at all, and should be completely understandable to the one who started it all, once it has been reasonably explained to them.

Having said that though, alas, it seems that some people are completely irrational when it comes to being presented with calm and collected facts of their ill behaviour, and due to evils like pride and arrogance, would never condescend to admit they are wrong at all, even when they know they are (I’m certain you’ve met such people, for they are many).

Well, there is a time coming soon for such people, for God will personally humble them Himself, for He is the one that judges totally righteously, and noone can stand before Him in lies and get away with it. All people, when compelled in the presence of holy truth, will truly see themselves as they are on that day, which is in fact a terrifying thing.

Most of the time, our anger is unrighteous, for it is sourced in our selfishness or arrogance. But the anger of God is pure, which is why it is so devastating. No one can stand before it and survive. Jesus has clearly shown us that the Lord God takes complete offence to unrighteousness, and it’s the main reason why the ancient prophets spoke of this coming ‘great and terrible’ day we have heard of, when all the souls that He has created with free will (and have abused it so, right in front of His face) will pay dearly for misusing it. It is written that ‘it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God’, and the reason for that is that He is perfect love, and we are all rebels against Him (against love!).

Without being ‘covered’ by the sacrificial, redemptive blood of the ‘passover Lamb’, we remain soiled with our stinking corruption, which is completely irremovable by anything (except the ‘bleaching’ blood of God). God takes offence to all those who are at odds against Him and who remain in their rebellion, just as much as (imagine with me for a moment) we ourselves would be offended by an unrepentant, persistent, drunkard tramp, who hasn’t washed for years and who is a threatening menace to society, who wants to come and live with your little family and sleep in your bed along with your wife, who continually knocks on the door and ringing the bell over and over again at 3 am in the morning to let him in, purposely waking everyone up in the process, night after night. That person would be offensive, right?

Yes, God is offended by sin in a similar way, and it’s terrifyingly righteous. No one will have a leg to stand on in the face of His true judgements against any of us, especially those who do not know and trust in the Son, for He is the one who pays our bail out from our crimes; rejecting that free gift is the same as tying the noose around your neck and jumping off the stool. It should be a severe warning to all of us, for ‘all of us have fallen short of the glory of God’.

It is written that ‘if righteous people are barely saved, what will happen to godless sinners?’. The question hangs heavy with me, to be honest, and I’m scared of the answer.

But as for believers, we are called to be very patient (the King James calls it ‘long suffering’, which I find very descriptive), and compassionate with those who offend us, being slow to anger and merciful to those that ‘despitefully use’ us. It is written that when we react like that, we are truly being like children of the perfect, loving, holy God, which is the highest compliment anyone could ever pay you. We should seek to be like this for His sake, not our own or even anyone else’s, for we are bought at a very high price, and it is He who we should honour with the way we behave.

Therefore, I recommend my advice to ‘unlearn offence’, for a measure of peace comes with it, and life is that much easier to live by it.